Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
