can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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