We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
