paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize