Tell her she can't have a vagina
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
two words...techno handjob
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
