its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize