i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
