There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
