Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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