I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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