it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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