I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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