That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
try to milk me bitch
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
