He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All the doctor said was why
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
