I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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