hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
