If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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