Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
