im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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