i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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