We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
