opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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