i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
