So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
