Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
