We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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