i love accidental penises.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
