4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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