Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
