I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize