is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
sex in a hospital.. check
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
