Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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