My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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