I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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