Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
