you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
