Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
