Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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