roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
