so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
