Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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