I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ttyl tear gas
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
