Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You have to summon your inner elephant
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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