"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
