you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Your dad touched me again.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
