i jhust puked up my retainher.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I love you.
Bad choice
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