I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
