Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
