Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He shit in the fireplace
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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