I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
