they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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