I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
