Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
