Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
