Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
