Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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