i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
