oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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