Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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